Widow Care is made up of a diverse group of people from many backgrounds, cultures, and experiences. Volunteers and members of our community offer a variety of perspectives on life and loss. We are proud to present blog posts where members of the Widow Care community share their personal experiences.
This is Samina’s story:
What can I say about love? That is a feeling that makes my world go round. That is what I felt most of my life. Love for people, love for God. The same type of feeling, but different scenarios. God, I couldn't see in my little mind, but people were all around. It took me years of reflection and prayers to get to feel and know Him. So, I love with a passion. Whether it is God or people, just live and love to the fullest. I feel that we were created just to find Him and love and cherish one another. Sounds cheesy. But that's the way I see life.
Having said all that, I loved my husband Waheed just so. With a passion.
And then as my love for him grew as my husband, my love for God also started to take shape. I started to desire to discover Him. To know that He listens to prayers and that He exists and that my fervent prayers were just not in vain. That the Master that I sought to pray to was listening to me, was there with me. I needed to have proof that He was with me. I guess this is what Godly love is. If you believed in Him so much, he should love back the same way. With a passion. He is God. A loving God loves back His children back with a passion. As my prayers for my family grew, I prayed that I could find Him, worship Him the way our religion tells us to. The way I loved my husband, parents and kids.
And then, one day, I found Him talking back to me.
Dreams...so many dreams. I feel that I have never had so many dreams in my lifetime. So, God talks to His people through our dreams. Wow-what a way to start a communication. Actually, the dreams were meant for me. He already knew what was going on in my life. But I was expecting communication some other way, so it came as a shock to me that the dreams related to an upcoming tragedy. Who can imagine tragedies being foretold? I always imagined good things being foretold. The dreams that I had before had come true. My prayers had been answered, well for most things, except one matter. But, I believed in my prayers so much that I had not imagined, my world to go the other way. After all, the prayer for my big matter was going to be heard....I had been praying for it for the longest time.
I had my agenda and God had His agenda. But in the end God's agenda won. But guess what? I do not have any complaints with Him, because I trust that He is God, the one I love and respect and that He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. So what is this great hurt that I feel? What is this big emptiness in my life? And what is this great trust in Him that I feel? As whatever He did is ok.
Because He wanted it this way. And that hopefully He loves me .
Although in my heart I know He does, even though I am not perfect and he took Waheed away from me. And then I even know why He did it. So He began to explain through dreams to me, as if I was a child, that He was watching me. And that it was His Will and that our destiny was just written that way, and that, like a parent He wants me to accept the loss that had happened in my life. But that He still loved me.
Written by Samina, Member.
Edited by Lucy Bauer, Blogger
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